I found this very touching letter from an entrepreneur son to his father. A few lines in between struck very hard. Do read along.
It has been long I have written to you, thanks to technology, we speak every other day. But writing is so much fun, where one can express oneself uninhibited – just like the phrase, “dance as if no one’s watching”. Write, as if no one’s listening. I think it is very important for one to write like that, to be honest and to do justice to the writing.
So here I am writing my inmost feelings and only person I feel I can share this is with you; and why not, we share blood. I know you are angry that I got delayed several times in getting things done that you asked me to. You might think I do not give importance to them, but what more could be important for me, I wonder. So please do not think otherwise, I was sincerely busy with some urgencies and I thought your task could wait a day or two. Pardon me if I made a wrong judgment.
I know you are angry I do not take much care of my health; I am not earning like every other person you know is my friend or belongs to my age. I am really sorry for that. I am also sorry that I am not level headed like I was taught since childhood to follow a discipline as God’s own words. I am sorry I do not have a car nor do I not have 20 years EMI to pay for my flat. And also, I am sorry that I am not married.
I know as a son, I have failed your dreams. Being a father of a grown up man, I can imagine how you long for the peace that your son is settled and how you giggle on thought of playing with your grandchild. Yes, I completely understand that.
I also know that you get skeptical when I call you for financial help once in a while when I keep telling you I am doing well. How one can do well when one needs financial support, you must be wondering. But there are many questions that this universe doesn’t provide answers to, and I am trying to solve few of the questions I burdened with – who am I, what am I doing and why am I doing?
Yes, I am not anything that everyone else is. But I wanted to share few experiences with you that moved me to the core. One of the guys I know is getting married next month; he is very happy because he can now live with his childhood love and can dream of a life. Seven months back, he did not have a job. Another person I know is a geek. Don’t ask me why he is so engrossed in his work; I guess he just loves it. He had lost his father and desperately wanted a job so that people around him would not question him. I must admit dad, I have never seen a better professional than him in my life. I just love his work and he is bound to go distance. There are four more stories I could share but I think that is not the point.
I pay their salaries every month.
I often skip my meals or stay awake so that I make sure I do that. You know how much I love food; I am worried you will scold me when you see me having lost weight. I know it troubles you that I am not doing what everyone else is doing, and why I don’t have things that they have. I may not have those things ever and frankly I do not care much. But to tell you dad, this feeling of earning someone’s bread and butter and making someone’s dream come true is a feeling I think I cannot get anywhere.
Hope you remember I asked you when I was young that how could I change the world. You mentioned, just help 10 people with their lives and you will have done your job. I know now what you meant.
I request you not to consider I value your requests less, but I am busy because if I miss a step, there are more lives that get affected.
Like me, there are thousands others and certainly much better who are fighting this battle everyday; to make something happen, to bring a difference, for change. They are questioned, live life in their own confined skulls, which probably are another universe altogether. You can identify them in crowd, busy thinking or planning or just mumbling, because they have to reach somewhere; you can see the urgency in their faces. They too, are questioned for their living, their life, their plans and what not. Often an outcast, they are entrepreneurs trying to make a difference. Trying; funny word. I remember how you always taught me to never quit trying. I am sure many fathers must have, but I guess it changes with time; or may be it just means to keep trying until you become one of others; which in itself a preposterous idea. We are all different.
I do certainly look forward to your visit here so that we could have the father-son time I always long for! Please do bring those pickles from our neighbors; I miss them very much here J
Love you always,